In Sight or A Dream

Freedom
It is in sight
Right around the bend
More than what I ever dreamed
Today though I am not dreaming
I am stuck in place
Stagnant in life
Unhappy although grateful for my blessings
Although many feel that you cannot be both
Working to live
Check to check
I make due
Hoping to have better dreams
New dreams that will make my old dreams
So common that they become reality

State Of Love

Can't sleep
Unsettled
Staring at you
Looking comfortable
Probably dreaming about something selfish
How did I get here
Not physically but mentally
Lying next to a stranger
We were good at a time
Good for each other
Love resided in our home
Memories and time passed
Laughs and conversation and sex
Took place
I did not see this coming
Unsure of where the turning point was
Downward is the direction though
Because I have not slept well for months
While you say you are more rested than ever
That does not ease my worry
How did I get here

Tell Him

Tell him what he is doing wrong
Explain why he is alone
Why he never had a relationship
The reasoning behind love's absent
Role in his life
Scrutinize his efforts for perfection
His language proper
Clothing fresh and neat
Open mind and accepting heart
Adventurous, respectable and courteous
How none of these things have worked
How people took advantage of his kindness
Tried to make him weak
Nevertheless he still seeks real love
Still wants real love
Tell him what he is doing wrong
Explain why he is alone

I Miss You, You Say

Funny almost
Amusing when
You say
Each time I reach out to you
That you miss me also
Of course after I said I did
It would be unkind
To do anything else
You would not blatantly hurt me
That is one thing I know
For sure
What I do not know is
How someone that misses something
Never does anything to show
That to be true
If I waited on you to contact me
I would be buried before you did
Do not save my heart from real pain
The wait time kills me anyway
Set me free since I cannot do it myself
Make me leave at least
That shows you did care

Along The Path to Love

Love is a journey
That no one knows but
Everyone remembers
I am now on that path
Took the detour
Down the one way street
Full of bumps, bruises
Little light and much confusion
I was once in a state of bliss
Before I saw the sign
The sign that said love
Was ten miles ahead
Gave me time to contemplate
Whether or not
I did
I will persevere
Something tells me
It will be worth the trek
This journey to love

Jazmine Sullivan

I know that I usually just post my poetry. (Thank you for anyone that has ever read any of my work and I hope that it was inspirational and thought provoking.) But I had to let you all know of a perfectly amazing cd "Fearless" by Jazmine Sullivan. If you love R&B and like music that you will not hear on the radio thirty times a day, then I suggest you PURCHASE her cd pronto!!!! You will not be dissappointed. My favorites are the phenomenal "Lions, Tigers and Bears", the moving "Live A Lie" and the truth "Bust Your Windows".

Future Love

Pleasant dreams
At night
Constant daydreams
I have
My perfection
My perfect mate
Flawless to me
I envision you
Come to me
Become real
So my fantasies can be fulfilled
No white horse or glass slipper
Necessary just
Pure and unadulterated
Honesty
Future love for me

Sneak Peek

Thanks for the sneak peek
Into what a great relationship
Would look like
I had no clue
That it would even be possible
For me to achieve
But now because of you
I know I can
Give my one hundred percent
Waiting for the one
That gives me the same return

This Heart Of Mine

Say what you will
About the way I act
Guarding my heart
From the cruel world
Protecting myself is necessary
No one else is here to do it
This heart of mine
Is the only one I have
Safeguard under lock and hidden key
This is my heart
I rather not share it with you
Too valuable to me
Although the local society benefits
From this heart of mine
One on one though
I will not do
Because this heart of mine
Cannot be used
Torn or abused
So call me selfish
With my heart
But mine it will stay

But This Train

Rolling my bags down the path
At a fast and steady pace
I head towards
My acceptable mode of transportation
Not far behind me
We at least not in physical distance
Are you running after me
Pleading for one more chance
To make it right
Like you said it would be from the start
I pause for a second only in my mind
To think about us
The potential I saw
The good times, the promises
The whistle blows for the final boarding call
I hand my luggage to the attendant
And glance at you in mid stride
Wishing you put this much energy in
Us before now
I value my time and you knew it
Yet you refused to make a commitment
The excuse of a busy agenda
Only lasts for so long
I told you my goals
Told you that I am a stress reliever
Said the honest truth
Even when it hurt me
Not saying that you did anything wrong
But timing plays a huge role
In where I am now
Sitting in the b-class seat
On the 12 o'clock to the City
And you running by my window
With regret and sadness on your face
Beautiful you are
Inside and out
I will miss you
But this train is departing
And you should be beside me
In the seat that is paid for
That my laptop now occupies
Valuable me
Valuable time
I bid you adieu

Miscellaneous Facade

The time has come
For me to break this down
For those that seem not to understand
The providers for unappreciative supportees
Not matter what they do for you
It is not enough
I view the stress you have
On your face and in your hands
I hear the frustrations
I do not sympathize
Is loneliness that scary
That we allow people to use
Miscellaneous facades
As gateways to our resources
Do we believe the lies
Seek comfort in them
Because reality hurts us so
Strengthen your heart
Open your mind
Let go of unnecessary baggage
Trust and believe

Had Green Eyes

Just passed by you
Now laughing to myself
You disguise your look as
Disdain but you cannot
Change the color of those eyes
The window to your soul
Greener than dew drinched grass in May
How could you look at me that way
You hardly know me
I know that I am impressive
You could be also if you really tried
I place my heart into improvement
Internal and external
Maybe that shows and you are mad
At yourself for not doing your best
But it would behoove you
To see my example and raise your standards
Not hating on me with
Looks and words
Wise people live and learn
Others are irrelevant

Weak

Tired
I have been good for so long
Maybe I should let this
Other side out for a while
Get into somethings
That would be considered
Bad
Thoughts may overtake me
Persuade me
Contemplating the dark side
Making money with my body
Playing tricks just to get ahead
So many do it
They all benefit
Temporarily
Maybe since I look at the long term
I know I cannot do
Those things
They are very tempting though

Anew

Reinvent
Refresh
Away with the old
Need a vacation
Must do something
A new look
Nothing too drastic
Just enough to feel
New, renewed
Fresh
Wanting to replace my regular stares
With double takes
Bold enough to do it
Complete overhaul
Be prepared
It may be too much for most
But maybe it will peak
The right one's interest
Next up
Me anew

Overwhelmed

Ever want to just float away
No cares
No obligations
Just you
The beach and a strong mojito
That is how I feel
When I am overwhelmed
Life is more than I expected
I am neither ill-equipped
Or unprepared
Just a little overwhelmed
I have to stop sometimes
Take a deep breath
Reevaluate
Find strength
When life supplies none
Will power to live
Victoriously although
Every now and then
I am overwhelmed
I close my eyes
And imagine the beach

My Vows

On this day
I vow
To myself
To never allow
Anyone or anything
Come between
My goals and myself
That my present
Destroys all past
Hurt and pain
That my present
Projects an astounding future
Full of joy
And that my present
Reflects the true me
Absent of unnecessary influences
I vow to grow

In Return

Hard fought freedom
Struggles beyond your imagination
Pain now showcased in museums
Real people fought for you
Had foresight to save generations after themselves
Spoke prolific words
Performed heroic actions
Ordinary people
Turned iconic
For you all to emulate and surpass
But in return
You repay them by being so much less
Offspring of the fittest survivors of slavery
Now not even a shell of the past
Do you know what you could and should be
Stop blaming
Aim for the stars
Attempt to succeed
Your failure to act
Hurts my soul
Please act
Move
For you and generations upcoming

Nobody's Nobody

Familiar territory
Defending my singleness
Why don't I have someone
Is a good question
That should never ever
Be asked
I do have someone though
I am Nobody's Nobody
That is me
Not who I want to be
Not content
Dealing with it
Moving forward with my life
By myself
Some people are meant
To live alone
I know I am one of
Those people
I give of me
Little return
That is not why I do though
I give for love
I live for love
Love moves
Love breathes
Love is me
Self love will suffice
The first love
I know well
So when you see me
Know that love lives
In Nobody's Nobody
From a future unknown
I pull from
Feast on the reassurance
Of reciprocity

Quite Clear

Approach
Weak
Maybe you don't know
Top notch
Uber fly
Me
Average clone
Style-less plain
You
I could work with something
But you are not workable
It is quite clear
You cannot
With me
Be anything
Past associate
No disrespect
It is just quite clear

Make It Rain

I can't figure out
If I am more mad or sad
I just keep staring at you
How could you
Why would you
You idiot
I was so good to you
You wait this long to reveal
The truth
I turn my head towards the sky
Wishing that I had the power
To make it rain
Because I know the tears
Are about to flow
I will not allow you to see me
Release emotion
I rather walk away
And I rather stay away
I was so good to you
So good

I Am Not There

They told me
That you came
To my front door
Knocking
I guess you were expecting
Me to be at home
My neighbors
Nice but nosy
Said you were there
For a while after
The knocking
Lounging on my stoop
Awaiting my return
Many times before
I posed the question
To you about what you
Would do when
I am not there
Don't keep waiting for me
I had to go
Had to leave

Fade

Now that I am down
I can write this
Given my current
Outlook I feel this
Feeling that goes
Beyond black and white
The grey area
That many say does not exist
I live in it
Something nonexistent
I am that
Reality that fades to unreal
Because you refuse to believe
You are what you see
In the mirror
Drugs, alcohol and the lime light
Give you blinders to reality
Fading out all that should
Put you on the right path
So you fade out my words
Erase my voice
Eradicate my existence

Dear You

I know what you
Are thinking
What if you just
Approach me
With your best line
And I reject you
How would you feel
Don't think you could deal
But on the real
I see you watching me
I am amazed you are
Saying "Hello" was the first step
Now go ahead
Be bold
Ask what you really want to know
I am waiting

Debris

You blow like the wind
Change represents you
Not the good kind
You try to exude
Confidence
But when real confidence
Comes through you question it
And stand in awe
You should be questioning
Your value
I rate you close to
Trash
I try not to judge
I may fail at that
You fail at life
Call it like I see it
So float away
Like debris on the highway

Hate/Love

I have this relationship
That transcends beyond just one
But to most of my relationships
Sometimes I feel bipolar
Unsettled in an ever changing world
Extreme emotion
Loving this thing
Hating the same thing
This hate/love is crazy
Is it just me or
Do we all sway like branches on
A gusty day
Wanting to maintain balance
More consistently
This is achievable
I know it is
I am sure of this
Am I
Hate/Love

Voicemail #3

It's me
I hope the other two voice mails
Actually got deleted
They did not accurately express my feelings
I am more level headed now
Had to vent
But back to the business at hand
I liked you
I really did
But you gave me no alternative
I must move onward and forward
Words and actions did not align
Although we always had a good time
Wishing I could press rewind
But I have to remind myself
That the lesson was learned
The page now turned
New chapter ahead
I wish you well
Instead of hell
Love yourself enough
Not to waste your own time

Blush

Smile
You called me beautiful
Peered into my eyes
Talked to my inner child
Made it credible
How could someone so physically flawless
Be so kind to me
Look at me with approval
Not for my beautiful mind
But my external covering
It has to be genuine
I mean you looked me in the eye
So why now days after
Our encounter
Do I feel like
A reject of that model contest
Not worthy of you showing my photo
What shifted your initial view
Awaiting your response to my calls
Or just text something
Anything

Mission: Possible

I hear something speak
It comes from inside
Driving me to more
Pushing me to rise
Should I answer the call
Never doubting the feelings
Doubting the world
And its readiness
To see me completely on point
The desire is too strong
For me to ignore
I accept the mission
Now I have 20 seconds
Before the message self destructs

Crave

Closing the door
I can taste the leftover
Honey residue
After three and a quarter hours
The physical begs for rest
While longing for more
My mind is in a state of confusion
Did we really just contort our bodies
Like that
I felt so good
Run some water
Splash my face
Open the medicine cabinet
Looking for a band aid
You had to be a biter
Finding some whipped cream
Why do you have it in here
And you said you were new to this
I should have known

The Weight

Search for balance
We all seek
Comfort
In you I found
Knowledge and wisdom
Strength and valor
Kindness and generosity
You possess
Why then would you be
Off balance
Maybe not you
But your life
You are balanced
You let life tip the scales
Allowing people to weigh you down
With fallacy
Frivolous words that cause you pain
Temporary happiness
That has the potential to destroy your soul
If the words and actions
Don't balance and align
Loose the weight
Truly be free

Movement

Funny how the world turns
You move away but things
Never change
This place remains the same
People change sometimes
Others are mirrors of their kin
If I ever thought I would be back
Would I have done things differently
Knowing more now than then
How could I have changed
I only knew little
Understanding now the inevitable
I feel as though
I was prepped for more
Outstanding may then be sub par
Many are called with purpose
I hope that
My purpose comes to full bloom
And that the fruition of that
Purpose comes hastily

Resort

Finally the vacation
I deserve
All inclusive
Yet exclusive
Trip paid for
And as I lock my door
View a well cleaned place
I smile
It is the weekend
This getaway destination
Is all too familiar
Just did what I had
To do to get a fresh look
To my apartment
Because you took me through hell
And it made its way
To my humble abode
How dare you invade my domain
With drama
Order is back in place
Time now to relax and
Enjoy the fruits of my labor
I like this resort
I would come here again

Content

Pushing past most
Exceeding the expectations
Driving towards excellence
Yes I do complain
Why settle for mediocre
If I was happy
There then
You would have never
Met me here
So I complain
So I can be content
On a plateau
Far above plain

Revamp

Off balance
Right feels wrong
Wrong feels amazing
But still not where
I need to be
Something threw me off
Brought me down
Was it the environment
No one fighting for
Social change
Plug me back in
So I can recharge
Leading again
Moving once more
Setting the marks
I will be back
Can you stand more

Better

I am tired of being the victim
Time to take control of the wheel
Do somethings that would make
Janet blush and put Lenny on hush
Dominant from start
Blazing the path
Pulling you along
Whether you want to or not
You have no choice
Because you are the one caught up
Too scared to stop
Not knowing where the road may lead
I have my fun with you
How would you like the role reversal
Me free of emotion
You full of it
Instead of your usual bull
I laugh at the thought of that
Better be glad
I am too good for that

But I Hesitate

It has been a while
Since the beginning
Never even imagined this being a possibility
But now that I am here
I yearn for more
Hope changed to a dream
A dream to a probability
A probability to now
This present was a pleasant surprise
Offerings of love, respect and longevity
Words I have always longed to hear
Something though
Something makes me rethink it all
So I hesitate to make a commitment
No one is on the side
At least on my end
What is my reasoning, you ask
Nothing other than this feeling
Pleading with me to
Stop

My Need

My heart needs
My body needs
My soul needs
And you are not available
My need now is to move on

Values

What happened to us
We should not be at the state we are in
Disapproval of what is just
Placing more energy into
Things that do not mean
Anything
Knocking down people that ask you
To live by human morals
All you see is the external covering
How much that makes us different
From all others that walk in shoes
Trying to reverse laws to make things
Separate again
I do not understand
I come from but by favor, grace and mercy
I am not a product of
That ridiculous mentality
Call me stuck up while I succeed
I improve the people that
Want to change
Values

Reflect

Where to begin
I guess I should start
At the beginning
But I will start
At the end
So much pain is there
So back to the beginning
But that is all a blur
Maybe the middle
But the middle was the beginning
Of the end
The relationship seems like
It was all a waste
What did I learn
I learned from each and every
Mistake

Superpeople

When will I find the one
That understands all that I do
Now let me say this
I am not perfect
I get many things wrong
You may not believe I am human
I do have this "S" on my chest
But I have more than one kryptonite
This though is about you
And all those like you
That step to us superpeople
Playing games, wasting time
Only prolonging the inevitable
When we are on your planet
We must turnoff our
Super-ears, super-sight, super-speed and much more
Just to appease egos
Why do we learn this lesson the hard way
That red kryptonite is the worst
Fly far away and fast

Amorous Intentions

And how was I supposed to know
How you felt
Did you ever say anything about it
This was new
With no definition
It is not like we spoke about anything beyond superficial
But whenever we did
I liked what I heard
And wanted to hear more
Wasn't sure if I was falling or not
I had to figure out what to do
Should I tell you or let it go
Continue on with the current flow
Contemplating taking the risk
I like being forward
Either be honest or say nothing
So I decided to tell you
Took you to a neutral zone
Tried to turn small talk to something serious
But the reactions lead me to play it off
Maybe you knew what was ahead
Or maybe afraid to hear what you thought I would say
Just wanted to be real
No pressure
But I just had to tell you
And now that I haven't
I wonder what would have happened if I had

I Say To You

I am well versed
Not because it is rehearsed
But because I have been tried
Time and again
Through those times, tests and trials
I have gained
Strength, courage and wisdom
Growth
So I encourage you to press
Onward, upward and forward
Because the Good Book says
Do not become weary in well doing

Joy

I wear yellow today
Because I am happy
Death finally came
And I buried you
No, I am not morbid
I had to put that to rest
The old me is gone

Afloat

Why can't I fly away
Why can't I go away
This place
Why do I feel trapped here
Struggling to stay afloat
Looking for the life boat
Looking for the life
Here

Stunts and Shows

Life is all just a show
Even with you
I expected more
That's what you told me
I believed all the stories
Never again, will I be that naivee
Time tells the truth
You put on a face each night
Getting ready for your performance
I watched
Not knowing that I wasn't in the audience
I was apart of the act
Stunting on me
Like I was one of the hoes
Could this really be me
Living for the moment
Tricked into something that
I said I would never do
Trusting in this sense, is new
I learned my lesson

Response

I come to you in your confusion
I come to you out of respect
I come to you with a different mindset
You look at me with disdain
As I walk through your hood
As I walk through your church
As I sit at your table
Diversity scares so many
Although it is preached so often
Why do you let fear overtake you
Why do you seek to push me away
What if I hold the answers you need
What if I have the cure to your illness
You judge my external while I do no wrong
You judge my actions that cause no harm
I am glad that I don't treat you like you treat me
I accept that you may not understand me
But I ask that you, judge not

And You Are

Frustration settles in my soul
Seeing people that succeed with no souls
You have direction that redirects like the wind
Silly women, silly men
While people of purpose fail
People with respect trail the pack
You blend instead of standing out
Would not know what is right
From the fallacy presented on reality TV
You made it but for what
And you are quite foolish
Missing the clown makeup
Frustration re-fires in my soul
Grow up, grown up
Peep real game and emulate
Because the game you push is a disgrace
You don't know much
Information lacking
Class-less and attacking me
Silly women, silly men
Replace, upgrade, maintain

Affection

Anticipating our rendevouz
Expecting it to be a tryst
Since the last time had been a while
Didn't want to jump right into it
I did miss your presence too
We did our usual
Catch up, laugh up, cuddle up
Oh how I missed this
Could do just this each and every day
What happened to the tryst
I am content though
Just laying here with you
In our own little world
You make me feel so comfortable
And I hope I do the same for you
As you carress my hand
I try not to drift to my dreams
Enjoying our time together
It's getting late so I need to be ready
For the next day of work
You walk me to the door
We part with some kisses
And as I sit in my car
I can only wonder
What happened to the tryst
Am I the only one
Or maybe intimacy is enough

I Heart DC

A love that I never thought
I would have
It sneaked up on me
Caught me by surprise
Its treasures are nestled in
Obscure, alluring locations
Whether traveling by foot, car or rail
You provide me with captivating
Sights and sounds
A flavor unique
A treat
I Heart DC

Morning

Once again I am sitting
Pondering the reasons
But very few come to mind
Of how I am, no, was stuck
On you
With all the claims of honesty
Why shouldn't I believe you
Maybe it was your friend's honest eyes
Or the repetitive sorry lies
Or the slight changes you made
Like I did notice not
You are so unappreciative
So sad
And it makes me mad
Mad at me
For continuing, giving you another chance
One too many

All I Wanted

All I wanted was for you
To love me
To see me
For all my potential
To appropriately assess
The situation
And see that I could make it
Trying to perfect me
Will take time
I expected patience from you
Because that is what you preached
But ye of little faith
Doubt me now
Bothering me with petty things
You see my frustration
But hardly provide alleviation
I hope that the current outlook
Does not deter you from helping me
To my goals
That is why you are here
For me
To push me to greatness
But you refuse now to be here
Vacating the role that is
Necessary for immediate relief
Why would you turn from me
Leaving me to possible desperate measures
Is this to prove something to me
Or something to yourself
I am unsure
Yet I will continue
Along this path alone

Clarity

It should come to no surprise
That you wish for my demise
I assume you wanted the best for me
Want me to proceed positively
That assumption stopped short of expectation
When you showed your true colors
The anger red, the envy green, the coward yellow
Why don't you want me to succeed
Progression should be highlighted in our community
I guess it is unlikely for someone like you
To speak well and wish well of someone like me
Your ungodly desires frustrate me
Pressuring me to act out in ways that I usually do not
My past caused an effect on my present
But I will not let it direct my future
Blocking all things that have your stamp
Erasing your mark from my life
Resolving the pain and anguish you
And those like you have caused

Complicated

I want to know what say and where to go
How to get my point across
Reveal my feelings
This is not going to be easy
I want to be more
Maybe not your everything
But someone to share part of my world
And part of yours to be shared with me
The land of No Definition
Is tricky
No definition means no boundaries
And without those
How do I know how to act
Solely on instincts or should I be more calculated
This is unchartered territory for me
So I have no map
I want to get it right
Because of differences make it interesting
I wish you saw it like I do
And how much I want to
Know

The Corner

If you fail me now
What will I do
Change to someone desperate
Out of pure hurt and despair or
Rebel against you and the machine
What does someone like me do
When backed into a corner
Fight to conquer or fight for flight
Either way
A battle must ensue
So take up your swords
For now is the time
Daylight approaches
And I await
Your choice
So that I can choose mine

This One's For You

Honestly, he wasn't right for you
You want me to tell the truth
He wasn't that into you
He never called you beautiful
Or made his lies believable
He didn't care if you knew
This breakup was way past due
Now you are calling me on the phone
Trying to understand what went wrong
But you just were too blind to see
I stayed out of your relationship
Although it was hard to see you hurt
I hoped that you would grow from this
So you could find a new relationship
One that would work

Today

Haven't felt this good
In a long time
And I would say
It is a long time coming
Feelings of joy
Trump all the pain
Forgetting the past
Embracing the present
And smiling at my future