Affection

Anticipating our rendevouz
Expecting it to be a tryst
Since the last time had been a while
Didn't want to jump right into it
I did miss your presence too
We did our usual
Catch up, laugh up, cuddle up
Oh how I missed this
Could do just this each and every day
What happened to the tryst
I am content though
Just laying here with you
In our own little world
You make me feel so comfortable
And I hope I do the same for you
As you carress my hand
I try not to drift to my dreams
Enjoying our time together
It's getting late so I need to be ready
For the next day of work
You walk me to the door
We part with some kisses
And as I sit in my car
I can only wonder
What happened to the tryst
Am I the only one
Or maybe intimacy is enough

I Heart DC

A love that I never thought
I would have
It sneaked up on me
Caught me by surprise
Its treasures are nestled in
Obscure, alluring locations
Whether traveling by foot, car or rail
You provide me with captivating
Sights and sounds
A flavor unique
A treat
I Heart DC

Morning

Once again I am sitting
Pondering the reasons
But very few come to mind
Of how I am, no, was stuck
On you
With all the claims of honesty
Why shouldn't I believe you
Maybe it was your friend's honest eyes
Or the repetitive sorry lies
Or the slight changes you made
Like I did notice not
You are so unappreciative
So sad
And it makes me mad
Mad at me
For continuing, giving you another chance
One too many

All I Wanted

All I wanted was for you
To love me
To see me
For all my potential
To appropriately assess
The situation
And see that I could make it
Trying to perfect me
Will take time
I expected patience from you
Because that is what you preached
But ye of little faith
Doubt me now
Bothering me with petty things
You see my frustration
But hardly provide alleviation
I hope that the current outlook
Does not deter you from helping me
To my goals
That is why you are here
For me
To push me to greatness
But you refuse now to be here
Vacating the role that is
Necessary for immediate relief
Why would you turn from me
Leaving me to possible desperate measures
Is this to prove something to me
Or something to yourself
I am unsure
Yet I will continue
Along this path alone

Clarity

It should come to no surprise
That you wish for my demise
I assume you wanted the best for me
Want me to proceed positively
That assumption stopped short of expectation
When you showed your true colors
The anger red, the envy green, the coward yellow
Why don't you want me to succeed
Progression should be highlighted in our community
I guess it is unlikely for someone like you
To speak well and wish well of someone like me
Your ungodly desires frustrate me
Pressuring me to act out in ways that I usually do not
My past caused an effect on my present
But I will not let it direct my future
Blocking all things that have your stamp
Erasing your mark from my life
Resolving the pain and anguish you
And those like you have caused

Complicated

I want to know what say and where to go
How to get my point across
Reveal my feelings
This is not going to be easy
I want to be more
Maybe not your everything
But someone to share part of my world
And part of yours to be shared with me
The land of No Definition
Is tricky
No definition means no boundaries
And without those
How do I know how to act
Solely on instincts or should I be more calculated
This is unchartered territory for me
So I have no map
I want to get it right
Because of differences make it interesting
I wish you saw it like I do
And how much I want to
Know

The Corner

If you fail me now
What will I do
Change to someone desperate
Out of pure hurt and despair or
Rebel against you and the machine
What does someone like me do
When backed into a corner
Fight to conquer or fight for flight
Either way
A battle must ensue
So take up your swords
For now is the time
Daylight approaches
And I await
Your choice
So that I can choose mine

This One's For You

Honestly, he wasn't right for you
You want me to tell the truth
He wasn't that into you
He never called you beautiful
Or made his lies believable
He didn't care if you knew
This breakup was way past due
Now you are calling me on the phone
Trying to understand what went wrong
But you just were too blind to see
I stayed out of your relationship
Although it was hard to see you hurt
I hoped that you would grow from this
So you could find a new relationship
One that would work

Today

Haven't felt this good
In a long time
And I would say
It is a long time coming
Feelings of joy
Trump all the pain
Forgetting the past
Embracing the present
And smiling at my future

The Laughs, The Words, The Attention

I heard the conversation
And had to compare
The laughs, the words, the attention
Until it was all too much
Feeling hurt, I had to explain the mistake
More mad than I expected
Blaming myself for not seeing what was evident
Blaming myself for allowing this to happen
I am worth more than just
Another notch on your belt
And more than someone just to pass by time with
I believed that was how you felt about me
But how much more wrong could I be

Notice

You doubted my every move
Thought I had nothing to give
Wished for my demise
Plotted my destruction
Counted me down and out
But today as I smell success
Staring at my infinite possibilities
Assured that positive things are around the corner
And knowledgeable of God's grace & favor
I speak a firm notice to you
To stay out of my way
Get behind me and
Watch as I shine

I Can't Believe

Who would have thought
I would be waiting
For a phone call
Anticipating your voice
Strong, assertive
Confidence exudes from every pore
So much so that I can't deny what I feel
But I can't believe
This is me now
After all
No one thought I was worthy of something amazing
Even if you are not that
You have renewed my hope
And I thank you for that

Your Decision

If you had the choice
Between him and me
What would the judging criteria be
Looks, money, a degree
Those must not be all on the list
Because I win in all categories
So there must be more that
Satisfies your needs and wants
I know sex does not mean
That much to you
To forget about everything I am
You have not even given us a real chance
Does it really weigh that
Much to you that you would
Pick him instead of me
If so just let me know
I wish you said from jump
That you were a ......

Agenda

Your words to me
Have never been kind
Always had yourself in mind
Selfish to say the least
Playing games with me
Pretending like you really cared
Deceit is your middle name
The other two I won't repeat
Did you get pleasure from my pain
Thought I couldn't stand the rain
But karma is now my friend
And this time
On its agenda is revenge