Joy

I wear yellow today
Because I am happy
Death finally came
And I buried you
No, I am not morbid
I had to put that to rest
The old me is gone

Afloat

Why can't I fly away
Why can't I go away
This place
Why do I feel trapped here
Struggling to stay afloat
Looking for the life boat
Looking for the life
Here

Stunts and Shows

Life is all just a show
Even with you
I expected more
That's what you told me
I believed all the stories
Never again, will I be that naivee
Time tells the truth
You put on a face each night
Getting ready for your performance
I watched
Not knowing that I wasn't in the audience
I was apart of the act
Stunting on me
Like I was one of the hoes
Could this really be me
Living for the moment
Tricked into something that
I said I would never do
Trusting in this sense, is new
I learned my lesson

Response

I come to you in your confusion
I come to you out of respect
I come to you with a different mindset
You look at me with disdain
As I walk through your hood
As I walk through your church
As I sit at your table
Diversity scares so many
Although it is preached so often
Why do you let fear overtake you
Why do you seek to push me away
What if I hold the answers you need
What if I have the cure to your illness
You judge my external while I do no wrong
You judge my actions that cause no harm
I am glad that I don't treat you like you treat me
I accept that you may not understand me
But I ask that you, judge not

And You Are

Frustration settles in my soul
Seeing people that succeed with no souls
You have direction that redirects like the wind
Silly women, silly men
While people of purpose fail
People with respect trail the pack
You blend instead of standing out
Would not know what is right
From the fallacy presented on reality TV
You made it but for what
And you are quite foolish
Missing the clown makeup
Frustration re-fires in my soul
Grow up, grown up
Peep real game and emulate
Because the game you push is a disgrace
You don't know much
Information lacking
Class-less and attacking me
Silly women, silly men
Replace, upgrade, maintain

Affection

Anticipating our rendevouz
Expecting it to be a tryst
Since the last time had been a while
Didn't want to jump right into it
I did miss your presence too
We did our usual
Catch up, laugh up, cuddle up
Oh how I missed this
Could do just this each and every day
What happened to the tryst
I am content though
Just laying here with you
In our own little world
You make me feel so comfortable
And I hope I do the same for you
As you carress my hand
I try not to drift to my dreams
Enjoying our time together
It's getting late so I need to be ready
For the next day of work
You walk me to the door
We part with some kisses
And as I sit in my car
I can only wonder
What happened to the tryst
Am I the only one
Or maybe intimacy is enough

I Heart DC

A love that I never thought
I would have
It sneaked up on me
Caught me by surprise
Its treasures are nestled in
Obscure, alluring locations
Whether traveling by foot, car or rail
You provide me with captivating
Sights and sounds
A flavor unique
A treat
I Heart DC

Morning

Once again I am sitting
Pondering the reasons
But very few come to mind
Of how I am, no, was stuck
On you
With all the claims of honesty
Why shouldn't I believe you
Maybe it was your friend's honest eyes
Or the repetitive sorry lies
Or the slight changes you made
Like I did notice not
You are so unappreciative
So sad
And it makes me mad
Mad at me
For continuing, giving you another chance
One too many

All I Wanted

All I wanted was for you
To love me
To see me
For all my potential
To appropriately assess
The situation
And see that I could make it
Trying to perfect me
Will take time
I expected patience from you
Because that is what you preached
But ye of little faith
Doubt me now
Bothering me with petty things
You see my frustration
But hardly provide alleviation
I hope that the current outlook
Does not deter you from helping me
To my goals
That is why you are here
For me
To push me to greatness
But you refuse now to be here
Vacating the role that is
Necessary for immediate relief
Why would you turn from me
Leaving me to possible desperate measures
Is this to prove something to me
Or something to yourself
I am unsure
Yet I will continue
Along this path alone

Clarity

It should come to no surprise
That you wish for my demise
I assume you wanted the best for me
Want me to proceed positively
That assumption stopped short of expectation
When you showed your true colors
The anger red, the envy green, the coward yellow
Why don't you want me to succeed
Progression should be highlighted in our community
I guess it is unlikely for someone like you
To speak well and wish well of someone like me
Your ungodly desires frustrate me
Pressuring me to act out in ways that I usually do not
My past caused an effect on my present
But I will not let it direct my future
Blocking all things that have your stamp
Erasing your mark from my life
Resolving the pain and anguish you
And those like you have caused

Complicated

I want to know what say and where to go
How to get my point across
Reveal my feelings
This is not going to be easy
I want to be more
Maybe not your everything
But someone to share part of my world
And part of yours to be shared with me
The land of No Definition
Is tricky
No definition means no boundaries
And without those
How do I know how to act
Solely on instincts or should I be more calculated
This is unchartered territory for me
So I have no map
I want to get it right
Because of differences make it interesting
I wish you saw it like I do
And how much I want to
Know

The Corner

If you fail me now
What will I do
Change to someone desperate
Out of pure hurt and despair or
Rebel against you and the machine
What does someone like me do
When backed into a corner
Fight to conquer or fight for flight
Either way
A battle must ensue
So take up your swords
For now is the time
Daylight approaches
And I await
Your choice
So that I can choose mine

This One's For You

Honestly, he wasn't right for you
You want me to tell the truth
He wasn't that into you
He never called you beautiful
Or made his lies believable
He didn't care if you knew
This breakup was way past due
Now you are calling me on the phone
Trying to understand what went wrong
But you just were too blind to see
I stayed out of your relationship
Although it was hard to see you hurt
I hoped that you would grow from this
So you could find a new relationship
One that would work

Today

Haven't felt this good
In a long time
And I would say
It is a long time coming
Feelings of joy
Trump all the pain
Forgetting the past
Embracing the present
And smiling at my future