This Heart Of Mine

Say what you will
About the way I act
Guarding my heart
From the cruel world
Protecting myself is necessary
No one else is here to do it
This heart of mine
Is the only one I have
Safeguard under lock and hidden key
This is my heart
I rather not share it with you
Too valuable to me
Although the local society benefits
From this heart of mine
One on one though
I will not do
Because this heart of mine
Cannot be used
Torn or abused
So call me selfish
With my heart
But mine it will stay

But This Train

Rolling my bags down the path
At a fast and steady pace
I head towards
My acceptable mode of transportation
Not far behind me
We at least not in physical distance
Are you running after me
Pleading for one more chance
To make it right
Like you said it would be from the start
I pause for a second only in my mind
To think about us
The potential I saw
The good times, the promises
The whistle blows for the final boarding call
I hand my luggage to the attendant
And glance at you in mid stride
Wishing you put this much energy in
Us before now
I value my time and you knew it
Yet you refused to make a commitment
The excuse of a busy agenda
Only lasts for so long
I told you my goals
Told you that I am a stress reliever
Said the honest truth
Even when it hurt me
Not saying that you did anything wrong
But timing plays a huge role
In where I am now
Sitting in the b-class seat
On the 12 o'clock to the City
And you running by my window
With regret and sadness on your face
Beautiful you are
Inside and out
I will miss you
But this train is departing
And you should be beside me
In the seat that is paid for
That my laptop now occupies
Valuable me
Valuable time
I bid you adieu

Miscellaneous Facade

The time has come
For me to break this down
For those that seem not to understand
The providers for unappreciative supportees
Not matter what they do for you
It is not enough
I view the stress you have
On your face and in your hands
I hear the frustrations
I do not sympathize
Is loneliness that scary
That we allow people to use
Miscellaneous facades
As gateways to our resources
Do we believe the lies
Seek comfort in them
Because reality hurts us so
Strengthen your heart
Open your mind
Let go of unnecessary baggage
Trust and believe

Had Green Eyes

Just passed by you
Now laughing to myself
You disguise your look as
Disdain but you cannot
Change the color of those eyes
The window to your soul
Greener than dew drinched grass in May
How could you look at me that way
You hardly know me
I know that I am impressive
You could be also if you really tried
I place my heart into improvement
Internal and external
Maybe that shows and you are mad
At yourself for not doing your best
But it would behoove you
To see my example and raise your standards
Not hating on me with
Looks and words
Wise people live and learn
Others are irrelevant

Weak

Tired
I have been good for so long
Maybe I should let this
Other side out for a while
Get into somethings
That would be considered
Bad
Thoughts may overtake me
Persuade me
Contemplating the dark side
Making money with my body
Playing tricks just to get ahead
So many do it
They all benefit
Temporarily
Maybe since I look at the long term
I know I cannot do
Those things
They are very tempting though

Anew

Reinvent
Refresh
Away with the old
Need a vacation
Must do something
A new look
Nothing too drastic
Just enough to feel
New, renewed
Fresh
Wanting to replace my regular stares
With double takes
Bold enough to do it
Complete overhaul
Be prepared
It may be too much for most
But maybe it will peak
The right one's interest
Next up
Me anew

Overwhelmed

Ever want to just float away
No cares
No obligations
Just you
The beach and a strong mojito
That is how I feel
When I am overwhelmed
Life is more than I expected
I am neither ill-equipped
Or unprepared
Just a little overwhelmed
I have to stop sometimes
Take a deep breath
Reevaluate
Find strength
When life supplies none
Will power to live
Victoriously although
Every now and then
I am overwhelmed
I close my eyes
And imagine the beach

My Vows

On this day
I vow
To myself
To never allow
Anyone or anything
Come between
My goals and myself
That my present
Destroys all past
Hurt and pain
That my present
Projects an astounding future
Full of joy
And that my present
Reflects the true me
Absent of unnecessary influences
I vow to grow

In Return

Hard fought freedom
Struggles beyond your imagination
Pain now showcased in museums
Real people fought for you
Had foresight to save generations after themselves
Spoke prolific words
Performed heroic actions
Ordinary people
Turned iconic
For you all to emulate and surpass
But in return
You repay them by being so much less
Offspring of the fittest survivors of slavery
Now not even a shell of the past
Do you know what you could and should be
Stop blaming
Aim for the stars
Attempt to succeed
Your failure to act
Hurts my soul
Please act
Move
For you and generations upcoming

Nobody's Nobody

Familiar territory
Defending my singleness
Why don't I have someone
Is a good question
That should never ever
Be asked
I do have someone though
I am Nobody's Nobody
That is me
Not who I want to be
Not content
Dealing with it
Moving forward with my life
By myself
Some people are meant
To live alone
I know I am one of
Those people
I give of me
Little return
That is not why I do though
I give for love
I live for love
Love moves
Love breathes
Love is me
Self love will suffice
The first love
I know well
So when you see me
Know that love lives
In Nobody's Nobody
From a future unknown
I pull from
Feast on the reassurance
Of reciprocity

Quite Clear

Approach
Weak
Maybe you don't know
Top notch
Uber fly
Me
Average clone
Style-less plain
You
I could work with something
But you are not workable
It is quite clear
You cannot
With me
Be anything
Past associate
No disrespect
It is just quite clear

Make It Rain

I can't figure out
If I am more mad or sad
I just keep staring at you
How could you
Why would you
You idiot
I was so good to you
You wait this long to reveal
The truth
I turn my head towards the sky
Wishing that I had the power
To make it rain
Because I know the tears
Are about to flow
I will not allow you to see me
Release emotion
I rather walk away
And I rather stay away
I was so good to you
So good

I Am Not There

They told me
That you came
To my front door
Knocking
I guess you were expecting
Me to be at home
My neighbors
Nice but nosy
Said you were there
For a while after
The knocking
Lounging on my stoop
Awaiting my return
Many times before
I posed the question
To you about what you
Would do when
I am not there
Don't keep waiting for me
I had to go
Had to leave

Fade

Now that I am down
I can write this
Given my current
Outlook I feel this
Feeling that goes
Beyond black and white
The grey area
That many say does not exist
I live in it
Something nonexistent
I am that
Reality that fades to unreal
Because you refuse to believe
You are what you see
In the mirror
Drugs, alcohol and the lime light
Give you blinders to reality
Fading out all that should
Put you on the right path
So you fade out my words
Erase my voice
Eradicate my existence