Make It Rain

I can't figure out
If I am more mad or sad
I just keep staring at you
How could you
Why would you
You idiot
I was so good to you
You wait this long to reveal
The truth
I turn my head towards the sky
Wishing that I had the power
To make it rain
Because I know the tears
Are about to flow
I will not allow you to see me
Release emotion
I rather walk away
And I rather stay away
I was so good to you
So good

I Am Not There

They told me
That you came
To my front door
Knocking
I guess you were expecting
Me to be at home
My neighbors
Nice but nosy
Said you were there
For a while after
The knocking
Lounging on my stoop
Awaiting my return
Many times before
I posed the question
To you about what you
Would do when
I am not there
Don't keep waiting for me
I had to go
Had to leave

Fade

Now that I am down
I can write this
Given my current
Outlook I feel this
Feeling that goes
Beyond black and white
The grey area
That many say does not exist
I live in it
Something nonexistent
I am that
Reality that fades to unreal
Because you refuse to believe
You are what you see
In the mirror
Drugs, alcohol and the lime light
Give you blinders to reality
Fading out all that should
Put you on the right path
So you fade out my words
Erase my voice
Eradicate my existence

Dear You

I know what you
Are thinking
What if you just
Approach me
With your best line
And I reject you
How would you feel
Don't think you could deal
But on the real
I see you watching me
I am amazed you are
Saying "Hello" was the first step
Now go ahead
Be bold
Ask what you really want to know
I am waiting

Debris

You blow like the wind
Change represents you
Not the good kind
You try to exude
Confidence
But when real confidence
Comes through you question it
And stand in awe
You should be questioning
Your value
I rate you close to
Trash
I try not to judge
I may fail at that
You fail at life
Call it like I see it
So float away
Like debris on the highway

Hate/Love

I have this relationship
That transcends beyond just one
But to most of my relationships
Sometimes I feel bipolar
Unsettled in an ever changing world
Extreme emotion
Loving this thing
Hating the same thing
This hate/love is crazy
Is it just me or
Do we all sway like branches on
A gusty day
Wanting to maintain balance
More consistently
This is achievable
I know it is
I am sure of this
Am I
Hate/Love

Voicemail #3

It's me
I hope the other two voice mails
Actually got deleted
They did not accurately express my feelings
I am more level headed now
Had to vent
But back to the business at hand
I liked you
I really did
But you gave me no alternative
I must move onward and forward
Words and actions did not align
Although we always had a good time
Wishing I could press rewind
But I have to remind myself
That the lesson was learned
The page now turned
New chapter ahead
I wish you well
Instead of hell
Love yourself enough
Not to waste your own time

Blush

Smile
You called me beautiful
Peered into my eyes
Talked to my inner child
Made it credible
How could someone so physically flawless
Be so kind to me
Look at me with approval
Not for my beautiful mind
But my external covering
It has to be genuine
I mean you looked me in the eye
So why now days after
Our encounter
Do I feel like
A reject of that model contest
Not worthy of you showing my photo
What shifted your initial view
Awaiting your response to my calls
Or just text something
Anything

Mission: Possible

I hear something speak
It comes from inside
Driving me to more
Pushing me to rise
Should I answer the call
Never doubting the feelings
Doubting the world
And its readiness
To see me completely on point
The desire is too strong
For me to ignore
I accept the mission
Now I have 20 seconds
Before the message self destructs

Crave

Closing the door
I can taste the leftover
Honey residue
After three and a quarter hours
The physical begs for rest
While longing for more
My mind is in a state of confusion
Did we really just contort our bodies
Like that
I felt so good
Run some water
Splash my face
Open the medicine cabinet
Looking for a band aid
You had to be a biter
Finding some whipped cream
Why do you have it in here
And you said you were new to this
I should have known

The Weight

Search for balance
We all seek
Comfort
In you I found
Knowledge and wisdom
Strength and valor
Kindness and generosity
You possess
Why then would you be
Off balance
Maybe not you
But your life
You are balanced
You let life tip the scales
Allowing people to weigh you down
With fallacy
Frivolous words that cause you pain
Temporary happiness
That has the potential to destroy your soul
If the words and actions
Don't balance and align
Loose the weight
Truly be free

Movement

Funny how the world turns
You move away but things
Never change
This place remains the same
People change sometimes
Others are mirrors of their kin
If I ever thought I would be back
Would I have done things differently
Knowing more now than then
How could I have changed
I only knew little
Understanding now the inevitable
I feel as though
I was prepped for more
Outstanding may then be sub par
Many are called with purpose
I hope that
My purpose comes to full bloom
And that the fruition of that
Purpose comes hastily

Resort

Finally the vacation
I deserve
All inclusive
Yet exclusive
Trip paid for
And as I lock my door
View a well cleaned place
I smile
It is the weekend
This getaway destination
Is all too familiar
Just did what I had
To do to get a fresh look
To my apartment
Because you took me through hell
And it made its way
To my humble abode
How dare you invade my domain
With drama
Order is back in place
Time now to relax and
Enjoy the fruits of my labor
I like this resort
I would come here again

Content

Pushing past most
Exceeding the expectations
Driving towards excellence
Yes I do complain
Why settle for mediocre
If I was happy
There then
You would have never
Met me here
So I complain
So I can be content
On a plateau
Far above plain