My Vows

On this day
I vow
To myself
To never allow
Anyone or anything
Come between
My goals and myself
That my present
Destroys all past
Hurt and pain
That my present
Projects an astounding future
Full of joy
And that my present
Reflects the true me
Absent of unnecessary influences
I vow to grow

In Return

Hard fought freedom
Struggles beyond your imagination
Pain now showcased in museums
Real people fought for you
Had foresight to save generations after themselves
Spoke prolific words
Performed heroic actions
Ordinary people
Turned iconic
For you all to emulate and surpass
But in return
You repay them by being so much less
Offspring of the fittest survivors of slavery
Now not even a shell of the past
Do you know what you could and should be
Stop blaming
Aim for the stars
Attempt to succeed
Your failure to act
Hurts my soul
Please act
Move
For you and generations upcoming

Nobody's Nobody

Familiar territory
Defending my singleness
Why don't I have someone
Is a good question
That should never ever
Be asked
I do have someone though
I am Nobody's Nobody
That is me
Not who I want to be
Not content
Dealing with it
Moving forward with my life
By myself
Some people are meant
To live alone
I know I am one of
Those people
I give of me
Little return
That is not why I do though
I give for love
I live for love
Love moves
Love breathes
Love is me
Self love will suffice
The first love
I know well
So when you see me
Know that love lives
In Nobody's Nobody
From a future unknown
I pull from
Feast on the reassurance
Of reciprocity

Quite Clear

Approach
Weak
Maybe you don't know
Top notch
Uber fly
Me
Average clone
Style-less plain
You
I could work with something
But you are not workable
It is quite clear
You cannot
With me
Be anything
Past associate
No disrespect
It is just quite clear

Make It Rain

I can't figure out
If I am more mad or sad
I just keep staring at you
How could you
Why would you
You idiot
I was so good to you
You wait this long to reveal
The truth
I turn my head towards the sky
Wishing that I had the power
To make it rain
Because I know the tears
Are about to flow
I will not allow you to see me
Release emotion
I rather walk away
And I rather stay away
I was so good to you
So good

I Am Not There

They told me
That you came
To my front door
Knocking
I guess you were expecting
Me to be at home
My neighbors
Nice but nosy
Said you were there
For a while after
The knocking
Lounging on my stoop
Awaiting my return
Many times before
I posed the question
To you about what you
Would do when
I am not there
Don't keep waiting for me
I had to go
Had to leave

Fade

Now that I am down
I can write this
Given my current
Outlook I feel this
Feeling that goes
Beyond black and white
The grey area
That many say does not exist
I live in it
Something nonexistent
I am that
Reality that fades to unreal
Because you refuse to believe
You are what you see
In the mirror
Drugs, alcohol and the lime light
Give you blinders to reality
Fading out all that should
Put you on the right path
So you fade out my words
Erase my voice
Eradicate my existence

Dear You

I know what you
Are thinking
What if you just
Approach me
With your best line
And I reject you
How would you feel
Don't think you could deal
But on the real
I see you watching me
I am amazed you are
Saying "Hello" was the first step
Now go ahead
Be bold
Ask what you really want to know
I am waiting

Debris

You blow like the wind
Change represents you
Not the good kind
You try to exude
Confidence
But when real confidence
Comes through you question it
And stand in awe
You should be questioning
Your value
I rate you close to
Trash
I try not to judge
I may fail at that
You fail at life
Call it like I see it
So float away
Like debris on the highway

Hate/Love

I have this relationship
That transcends beyond just one
But to most of my relationships
Sometimes I feel bipolar
Unsettled in an ever changing world
Extreme emotion
Loving this thing
Hating the same thing
This hate/love is crazy
Is it just me or
Do we all sway like branches on
A gusty day
Wanting to maintain balance
More consistently
This is achievable
I know it is
I am sure of this
Am I
Hate/Love

Voicemail #3

It's me
I hope the other two voice mails
Actually got deleted
They did not accurately express my feelings
I am more level headed now
Had to vent
But back to the business at hand
I liked you
I really did
But you gave me no alternative
I must move onward and forward
Words and actions did not align
Although we always had a good time
Wishing I could press rewind
But I have to remind myself
That the lesson was learned
The page now turned
New chapter ahead
I wish you well
Instead of hell
Love yourself enough
Not to waste your own time

Blush

Smile
You called me beautiful
Peered into my eyes
Talked to my inner child
Made it credible
How could someone so physically flawless
Be so kind to me
Look at me with approval
Not for my beautiful mind
But my external covering
It has to be genuine
I mean you looked me in the eye
So why now days after
Our encounter
Do I feel like
A reject of that model contest
Not worthy of you showing my photo
What shifted your initial view
Awaiting your response to my calls
Or just text something
Anything

Mission: Possible

I hear something speak
It comes from inside
Driving me to more
Pushing me to rise
Should I answer the call
Never doubting the feelings
Doubting the world
And its readiness
To see me completely on point
The desire is too strong
For me to ignore
I accept the mission
Now I have 20 seconds
Before the message self destructs

Crave

Closing the door
I can taste the leftover
Honey residue
After three and a quarter hours
The physical begs for rest
While longing for more
My mind is in a state of confusion
Did we really just contort our bodies
Like that
I felt so good
Run some water
Splash my face
Open the medicine cabinet
Looking for a band aid
You had to be a biter
Finding some whipped cream
Why do you have it in here
And you said you were new to this
I should have known